Love Before Faction
by queen tally
Summary: Roselle Paine was a regular Candor teen, ready to stay in her birth faction even when she doesn't belong. That is, until she meets Jake, a Dauntless who twists her life into a shape she would never had imagined . . .
1. The Beginning of the End

I sat on the bench, surrounded by screaming people, with my heart somersulting in my chest. And it had all began with him. This was all because of him, and I didn't regret one minute of it.

It was the spring I turned sixeen when it all started. A rainy Tuesday afternoon, where I just sat there in my white chair that was pushed up against the window of our apartment in Candor Headquarters, or Merciless Mart as the other factions called it. I don't mind. I was wearing my usual everyday outfit; black leggings and a white cotton shirt that buttons halfway up. The truth, my mom says, is black and white.

While I sat there, wishing it wasn't a weekend so I had something to do, and just when I was contemplating trying to find something to do, I see a black blur flash by the river. I rub the condensation off the window and look again. Sure enough, a small black-clothed person is moving up and down the riverbank.

"Mom?" I tell, and she comes in with a slightly frazzled expression on her face. "Yes, Roselle?" I can tell she is still bitter from when my older sister, Paylor, left for the Amity. I clear my face of all traces of dishonesty. "Well, I think I saw someone fall in a river. Can I go check?"

She rolls her eyes. "Your choice to get wet," she sighs, and leaves the room. I tug on a black jacket and dart out of the front door, down the hallway, and spiral down seven flights of stairs. Finally, I burst outside, and the rain hits me, turning my dark brown hair to black. I walk over to the river, eyes slits against the rain.

Something slams into my side, hard, and knocks me down into the wet concrete. An annoyed noise escapes my throat as I look up, scowling. He is a Dauntless, all dressed in black, with tan skin and dark green eyes. An easy smile curls his lips.

"Watch it!" I snap, standing and angrily shoving a chunk of wet hair from my face. He just laughs a little. "Your name is Roselle, isn't it?" he asks, still smiling. I immediately put my guard up.

"How did you know?"

"I sit in behind you in Faction History and Science," he answers easily, and I notice a tattoo curling it's way around his neck. I try to remember him. "And you are . . . Jacob?"

"Jake. Call me Jake." He holds out his hand, a Dauntless greeting. I shake it. "Then you can call me Ross," I say firmly, and smile a guarded smile. He laughs a little.

We stand there for a moment. Then he talks, and for some reason I feel the urge to check in the mirror to make sure I look okay. "So why don't I show I'm sorry with a surprise. Meet me here tonight. It'll be fun, I promise."

I think about it. With a Dauntless, that could be dangerous. But right now that's appealing after me having to listen to Paylor all the time saying arguing was for the worse.

"I'll go," I say, and he smiles and walks off.

I find myself standing at the river a few minutes after the sky got dark, having told my mom I needed to go see if I could find a book I left at school. She doesn't really care what I do anymore.

I wait for half an hour and still, no Jake. Did he set me up? Are there Dauntless hiding around here, laughing at me from the shadows for being stupid enough to show up? Fed up and humiliated, I turn around and he is right behind me.

"Jake!" I whisper angrily. "What took you so long?" I end my sentence with my usual scowl.

He presses his finger to my lips and holds up a plank of wood with wheels on the bottom. I feel a small smile creep across my face. "Okay. You go in front of me, you're shorter," he says quietly. I obediently step onto the board, careful. He steps on behind me with one foot and uses the other to push it forward.

It's a weird feeling, but I love it. The wind whistles past my ears and pushes my hair back. I feel my wide smile, unseen in the dark. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I glance up at him, laughing.

It was the beginning of something I never would have imagined.


	2. Cloud Eight

The next morning, I walk to school. It's still a little rainy, but nothing can shake my ridiculously good mood. I know I'm acting really weird, but honestly I do not care. When the tall buildings finally appears ahead of me, I burst through the doors. A small group of Stiffs are helping a teacher pick up spilled papers. Some Erudite boys are walking and reading at the same time. Everything looks normal.

So why does the whole world _feel _different?

I wait at a window, and see the train come into view, getting bigger and bigger. As it hurtles past the school, I see tiny Dauntless jumping off, and imagine I can hear their yells through the window. I walk up the stairs to Science first, and twist impatiently in my chair, glancing at the door every few seconds. The teacher, Mr. Dawson, paces in between the lines of desks. He seems more sour than usual this morning.

Finally, a group of Dauntless come in, laughing, and Jake is one of them. He sits behind me, and I look back at him and smile. He gives me a quick smile back, and then class starts. It's hard to pay attention, but Science is pretty easy for me, so it's alright.

"Aptitude testing will be in one month," says Mr. Dawson, his nasal voice cutting through my thoughts. His small beady eyes sweep the class and I feel an involuntary shiver down my back. I decided, when Paylor left, to stay in Candor.

Class ends, and I quickly grab my stuff and follow the crowd out of the room. Jake is a few people in front of me, so I push through and catch up to him.

"Hey Jake!" I say, tapping his shoulder. He turns, smirking.

"Ross." I feel a blush start in my cheeks, and wish it would go away. I am embarrassed easily for a Candor.

"Well . . . see you in Faction History." I say, and smile again before turning away down the hall towards Math.

After school let's out, I am jumpy as I walk out. I hadn't talked to Jake much since Science, so I wanted to talk to him now. I see him talking to a Dauntless girl with three rings in her ear and dark red hair. I'm not sure I like the way she's so close to him, the way one of her hands is reaching up to his cheek.

I cross my arms, feeling slightly sick. Should I go over there? Or was last night nothing? Does he just invite all kinds of girls on dangerous first dates then forgets them? The girl is laughing at something he said. I scowl. This feels so wrong. He runs a hand over her hair, and I turn away, pushing through the crowd. I need to get over there, _now._

I've been walking for a few minutes before hand lands on my shoulder. I whip around and see Jake. I scowl and cross my arms, glaring at him. "Jeez Ross, what is it?" he asks, a lopsided smile still dangling on his face.

"Who is she?" I snap, angrily tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"Who?"

"The girl, Jake! The one you were talking to over there? Who the hell is that?" I know I'm being ridiculous, but I can't stop, I'm just mad. I feel like I've been lied to, somehow.

He looks confused for a moment. "You mean Reyna? That's my best friend, we've been friends for years, Ross. Why do you ask? We're you _watching _us or something?" He doesn't look mad, but what do I know?

". . . um." I feel awkward. Super awkward. "Sorry. I, um. Get jealous really easily. I thought you were, um. Dating her or something."

He smiles a little. "You thought we were together?" Jake let's out a laugh, and the knot in my chest loosens. He's not mad. "Ross, she's a good friend, but that's all. But you and I . . . wet different, okay? This is how _our_ friendship is." As the last words leave his mouth, he wraps his arms around me.

I smile. "But Jake, you're a Dauntless. I'm a Candor. Things like this never work out." Even though I'd rather not say it, it's true.

"It will with us, Ross. I promise. Because you know what? Were not scared of the government, you and I." He smiles. I laugh a bit. I love the way he says You and I, the way we are already so close.

"Can I see you again tonight?" I ask boldly, my Candor trained mouth just saying whatever it wanted.

"Sure. Meet me here at 10 PM," he says, and then he's gone. I smile and begin my walk home.

Even though the whole world may be against us, I am not scared, and neither is he. We will unite and be unafraid.

He promised.


	3. Midnight 'Train'ing

It's 9:30 and I'm still not ready to go. After brushing on some mascara, messing with my hair until it looked reasonable, and brushing my teeth twice, I still had to pick out what to wear. I'm stuck between a flowing black dress with a white ribbon at the waist and a black and white striped dress. Eventually I throw on the first one, some black flats, and leave.

I take the bus to school because it's faster. There are only a couple other people on the bus; an Abnegation woman with her two boys, and an Erudite man with a snaggle tooth. When it reaches the school, I know I'm a few minutes late, but oh well.

Jake sits on the curb in front of the school, smiling. He's wearing a black hoodie and jeans. I walk over to him and he stands up to greet me.

"Ross, you make me feel underdressed!" he says, and I smile, looking down at my feet. He looks good in his hoodie, though.

"Not so bad yourself!" I say lightly, rocking on my heels. He laughs, throws an arm around my shoulders, and leads me over to the train tracks. I start to get a bad feeling about this. "Wait. Jake, are you going to make me jump on that thing?"

He pauses. "It's not hard. And I figured it would be good for you to know." Jake looks at his watch. "It'll be here any minute now."

Sure enough, the train comes gliding down the polished rails towards us, the lights flashing. "Just do what I do, okay? Ross, your do great."

Easy for him to say. He's been doing this all his life.

My throat tightens as I run after Jake, the train finally next to us. Why did I wear a dress? He suddenly throws himself sideways and grabs a handle on the side of the car, pulling himself in. I lurch awkwardly towards the train, grabbing the handle. I am holding on just with my hands, my feet airborne. Then he grabs my arm and pulls me in.

My heart is pounding, but I am grinning widely. I love the adrenaline rush of a good sprint and the danger and every aspect of this sample of Dauntless life . . . so how can I stay in Candor when I do not belong there? I can't.

We sit against the wall. "Jake," I say, summoning up all the courage I have. "I'm going to join Dauntless."

He stares at me. Then he laughs. "Really? Ross, this is perfect! I knew you were Dauntless the minute I saw you!" He throws his arm around me and I laugh into it.

My mom will be okay without me. She hasn't cared what I do since Paylor left, anyway. I will join Dauntless with Jake, and we will grow together, closer and closer. We will.

I laugh again. "I thought I was going to stay in Candor. But I just know that it wouldn't be right." He deserves to know about me, I decide.

Jake nods. "Well, you made the right decision. I just know it." He grins widely. "Come on, I'll show you how to jump off."

He launches himself out of the train car and I follow, holding my skirt down. I land hard on my feet, but still; on my feet. Jake smiles.

"See, Ross? You're a natural!" he says. I smile back at him. If this is what it's like to be Dauntless; smiles, laughter, loud noise, and danger; I will be happy. I will fit in.

We walk down Michigan Avenue, holding hands and pointing out old factionless dwellings. I've never had a boyfriend before, but I guess this is what it's like. Hand holding, train jumping, and laughing.

It was the best time I'd had in a while. And for me, there was no going back to Candor now.


	4. Dreams All Sound the Same

I didn't think I could change so much in two weeks.

But I did.

I like to think my mom wasn't catching on, but I could sense her curiosity. So it was no surprise when she asked over our morning coffee. "Roselle, what's been up with you recently? You've been wearing makeup, and dresses. Something I should know about?"

She deserves to know. She's my mother. "Mom, I have a boyfriend," I say indifferently. I take a casual sip of my coffee and read the newspaper. I'm not really interested in it, I just want to avoid talking to her about Jake.

She sits up, a small smile crossing her face. "What? Roselle, when did this happen?"

"Two days ago."

"You didn't tell me." She crosses her arms, but she's still smiling. None of this happy stuff is making me feel at ease.

"Yup. Okay, gotta go, bye!" I grab my bag and head out the door. Other Candor linger in the halls, arguing, and I brush past them. This building is full of arguing people.

As I start outside, I see the train coming near to me, and without thinking I start to run. The Dauntless inside look at me, laughing and smirking. With a burst of laughter, I throw myself sideways and pull myself into a train car. The Dauntless stare at me, eyes wide.

"Um . . . what are you doing here?" asks one, a girl who has one half of her head shaved. The rest of her hair is electric blue.

"Well, I figured it was quicker to ride to train to school." I say, suddenly aware of how stupid I'd been. God, what was I thinking?

"Ross?" I snap my head around. Jake is there! Jake! I smile. "Oh, hey." He walks over to me. The Dauntless raise their eyebrows and turn away, talking about a chasm. He brushes a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"Hey . . . you're on the train." He laughs a bit.

I shrug and smile. He sits on the edge and I next to him, watching the city pass in a blur of gray cement and broken streetlamps. His hand finds mine and he curls his fingers around mine.

We are at the school far to soon, and then my throat tightens as I realize I better be good getting off, or the Dauntless will see me as a joke.

I wait until the lights on the train blink rapidly, bend my knees, and jump. I am airborne, my arms and legs flailing, then the ground is beneath my feet and I stumble a few feet but keep my balance. My heels sting, but I smile.

The Dauntless girl with blue hair nudges me and smirks. "Not bad for a Candor," she says, and I smile fiercely as I walk to class.

I belong with them, and now they know it too.

The rest of the school day is most of the usual; crabby erudite teachers, stolen moments with Jake, and an annoyingly heavy stack of papers to finish at home. Even so, after school I wait outside for Jake. He comes out surrounded by a group of Dauntless, with Reyna at his side.

I don't care what he said, I hate the way she leans her head on his shoulder, smiles while staring into his eyes, and holds his hand right against her side. I do not like her, for no reason.

He sees me and waves with his free hand. Reyna peers over at me and gives me a condescending look that seems to say, _Honey, don't even try._ I raise my eyebrows at her and cross my arms.

Jake walks over, Reyna behind him. "Hey, Ross!" he brushes a hand over my hair, and I cast a triumphant look at Reyna. I have always felt the need to win, and now I am smug.

Reyna just crosses her arms, and sneers, "Can't believe you'd hang out with one of them, J. I thought you were better,"

I feel another flash of annoyance at the way her voice says J, like she owns him or something. I glare at her back as she walks away. Jake slips his fingers around my chin and turns my face so I stare right into his brilliant green eyes.

"Hey. Don't listen to her. We're okay, you and I. This is okay." He pulls me into his arms, and I lean against his shoulder, smiling. I pull my head back a little, and stare right at him.

"I believe you," I tell him, and kiss him. It might have lasted a day, or two seconds, but it was over far too soon.

"See you tomorrow!" I say, smiling and leaving him standing there with a surprised look on his face.


	5. Fight Like a Girl

The next day, most of our day is explaining the aptitude testing, safety procedures, and why not to share out results. I talk with Jake quietly the whole time, unable to get in trouble being Candor and all.

Neither of us mentions the kiss. I'm positive it happened, but at the same time it doesn't feel real to me; almost as if I dreamed it and he's tricking me. But the smile he gave me today assures me that it was real, and that he doesn't regret it.

I'm in a good mood by the end of the day, my face wearing an unshakable smile, Jake at my side. I forgot my coat this morning, so he let me wear his Dauntless jacket today. It's surprisingly warm and smells like him, like I'm carrying a piece of him around all day.

I'm walking out of school at the end of the day when a heavy hand pushes my shoulder. I turn around and see Reyna there, if all people to ruin my good day.

I cross my arms. "What do you want?" I'm pleased that my voice sounds cold and sharp and almost bored, like the conversation is a waste of my precious time.

Her mouth puckers, like she's tasted something sour, and the ring in her lip turns. I smirk at her. Even though she is bigger than me, I am smarter and faster . . . I think. "Well, I just wanted to see who J's new lady friend is this month."

It is as if she's punched me in the stomach. "What?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" She smiles, a poisonously innocent look. "He gets a new girlfriend every month, and just when they start to fall for him hard, he dumps their sorry ass. Oh! Looks like your next."

I feel a rush of adrenaline and force myself to stand still. "You're lying. You're just _jealous_ because he spends more time with me. It's not my fault that you are like in love with him or something!"

I do not regret my words, even when her face turns a blotchy purple color and her eyes narrow with anger. I see her hand curl into a fist and don't put two and two together until -

_Bam!_ Her fist collides with my jaw and sends me staggering backwards, clutching my jaw, my eyes narrowed. She fast-walks forward at me, swinging again, but I duck under her fist and drive mine into her stomach. She groans and stares at me, her eyes pure hatred.

She tries to kick my legs, but I quickly jump out of the way and dart behind her, kicking her hard in the back. She whips around and her fist smashes into my nose, and I feel blood run down my face. With a grain of frustration, I throw myself forwards and put her in a headlock. She punches my arm, making it spring free, and she's just about to punch me when a heavy hand pulls me away.

Jake. Oh God, no.

He stares at me, then her, then me again. "What is this? Why are you fighting?" he says, and this time there is a little anger in his tone. I want nothing more than to wrap my hands around his chin and kiss him, but I know now is not the time.

"Well?" he says, looking expectantly at me. I wipe some of the blood off my face. "Um. Well, we were just arguing, and um." I say awkwardly, feeling as if I've been chastised by an adult. Jake's hand touches my shoulder lightly.

"Well, just don't do it again. Okay?" He looks at Reyna, who stands with her arms crossed. She mutters something and walks away. He turns to me. I bite my lip.

"Are you okay?" he asks gently, wiping some of the blood from my stinging nose. I nod, leaning into him. I smile into his shirt. He is worried about me.

But still. Could Reyna be telling the truth? Am I just another girlfriend? One he won't even remember in a few months? Nothing more? Or was she lying out of jealousy?

I don't know, and I hate it. What if I am just a monthly girlfriend? He smiles at me and draws my mouth to his. Does he actually like me, or not?

I suppose that I must decide for myself.


	6. Finally There

It was the day, the one I'd been half dreading, half looking forward to for so long. Aptitude testing day. The day that will decide the rest of my life.

Well, no actually. I guess that'd be tomorrow. But still.

That morning, all out classes had been cut in half. I'd barely been able to concentrate, but who cared? It was the last day, anyway. And I'm not Erudite. At least, I don't think . . .

Right now, I'm currently sitting in the cafeteria, staring across the room while my fellow faction members argue. I don't have the heart to join in right now, when I know I don't belong.

A few kids have already gone, and I'm about to lose it when my name is called.

"Roselle Paine."

I stand on shaky legs and walk with the group of other kids out of the cafeteria. The two stiffs stand back, letting us go first, and I feel a pang of guilt. How can I make fun of these good people? Call them names when all they want is t help me? I shouldn't.

We come to a hallway and I see several doors. I push open the one marked with a two and step in. An Abnegation woman stands next to a chair and a large machine with a placid smile on her face.

"Hello. I'm Grace. I will be monitoring your aptitude test today." She motions towards the chair, so I shut the door and walk towards her. The walls, I notice, are made of mirrors. I shiver.

"I'm Roselle," I say carefully, quietly. For some reason, I feel that if anything goes wrong I could be factionless, or worse, dead. I step up to the chair and sit in it, my pulse racing. I feel my palms collecting sweat and wipe them on my pants.

Grace carefully, gently, attaches wires to my head, and I feel tension building in my chest. I glance at her. She holds out a vial of clear liquid. I take it.

"What is it?" I ask, my voice trembling a bit. She shakes her head, indicating she is not allowed to tell me. I sniff it. No smell. Carefully, slowly, I pour the contents into my mouth. It tastes like iron. I swallow, and close my eyes.

When I open them, I am in the cafeteria. I walk between the tables to the window. It's snowing outside. I love the snow. I wonder if Jake does?

"Choose."

I whip around, and the table behind me now holds two baskets; one with a lump of white cheese in it, one holding a sharp blade. I walk forwards, examine them, and pick up the knife. The baskets disappear with the cheese.

I jump as a loud snarl comes from behind me. I turn slowly, tension infusing every limb in my body, and see a dog, lifting its lip. Crap. It's mad, I can tell. I step towards it, knife in hand, my attack stealthy. The dog jumps at me, mouth flying open, paws outstretched, and I look away as I thrust the knife forwards.

I hear it fall away with a pained whimper. I look down and see the injured dog on the ground, blood surrounding it in a small dark puddle. Trembling, I turn around, and I'm in a van crashing wildly down Michigan Avenue.

The man in the front seat turns to me and scowls. "Well? Are you going to shoot at them or let them kill us?" I grab a gun from the seat next to me and look out the open window. Another van drives next to us, and small gun barrels protrude from the cracked windows. A bullet hits the van near my head, and I don't think; I just shoot at their back tire until my bullet hits the rubber and the care slows to a stop.

Then I am in the chair in the testing room again. I fly upwards, throwing my hands onto my head. My fingernails were biting into my palms so hard that there's tiny scratches, but not enough to bleed. Grace smiles, uncle's the wires from my head, and speaks.

"Your aptitude is for Dauntless," she says in a calm, quiet voice that soothes me in this time that I feel I should be freaking out. Dauntless. Dauntless. I am going to be Dauntless. I cover my mouth with my hand so she can't see me smile.

"Thanks, Grace. I mean it," I tell her, and she touches my shoulders lightly with a small nod before I leave.

It's funny how I feel after the test, like I'm seeing the world in a whole different light. The laughs seem louder, the sun brighter, the people happier. Is this how the Amity see things? Perhaps.

I catch Jake's eye from across the room, and give him a small nod, one that only he knows what means.

I am Dauntless. I will be.


	7. Blood and Us

So today is the day. Choosing Day. The day where I decide my future, my friends, my job, my life. The day where I can leave my home or stay where I could belong, if I tried hard enough. I could be a Candor. I could.

But do I want to try? I am no longer sure. Dauntless is what I am, when I am not thinking about my thoughts or actions. I am Dauntless.

I stand in front of the mirror and stare hard at my reflection. I'm wearing a pair of leggings and a white tunic length shirt that ties at my ribs, an outfit good for running. Or train jumping. I brush my hair until the straight dark strands lay flat, a few inches past my shoulders. There. Now I look presentable.

Mom waits in the kitchen. Her eyes are sad and her mouth sags at the edges like she knows what I'm about to do. It's like I already left. I wrap my arms around her, hard, and promise myself I will not cry. I will not.

We take the bus to the Hub, where the Choosing takes place. It is full of Abnegatuon and some Candor, all of which are quiet and solemn. Well not the Abnegation. They have no emotions showing on their face, only positive determination. They are such good people.

When we reach the building, my mom and I step into the elevator, and it rapidly fills up. I know my mom is claustrophobic, but who wants to take the stairs? She stares at the ceiling and breaths through her mouth. The elevator shoots up and the door opens, revealing the room.

I step out with the crowd, my heart hammering, and my mom grabs my shoulder. I turn around, sweat collecting in my hands. She smiles a watery smile. "I love you, Roselle," she says quietly, and then she is dissolved into the crowd. I shiver and walk over to the rest of the sixteen year olds.

I stand in between two boys I don't know, one an Erudite and one an Amity. The Amity smiles and cracks jokes to no one in particular, laughing. I frown. Looks like someone knows where he belongs.

I look down the line for Jake, but I don't see him. Well, I'll see him at some point, I suppose. Until then, I stare at my feet as people shuffle in from the stairs, greetings made, places taken. And it begins.

"One hundred years ago . . ." begins the drawling voice of Erudite's leader, Dave Scott. He wears a blue blazer and small glasses that are pushed down his nose, and his eyebrows are large and thick and stern looking. He reads the mandatory speech, and I tune out. Then the first name is called, and I crane my neck to watch.

The girl called was Dauntless, and she wears a black vest, black pants, black shoes, and a tattoo. Her smirk is clearly visible as she stalks up to the center of the room, snatches the knife, and presses it to her hand. She thrusts her hand over the bowl of coals, and her decision is made. Dauntless.

I stare without thinking at the Candor bowl, imagining my blood dripping on the glass and my mother's wide smile. Then I imagine choosing Dauntless and Jake's kiss. The two conflict in my mind.

Then I hear my name, and stumble forward, surprised I can walk at all. The room is silent, like everyone's holding their breath. I suspect my mother is. And I know I am.

I take the small, silver knife and flip it in my hand. So ordinary. The tool of my destruction is so ordinary. I press the sharp edge to my palm, and blood wells at the cut. I curl my hand so it can't drip yet. The Candor bowl is right in front of me. The Dauntless is on the end to my left.

I shiver, and think of Jake, and his smile, and his kiss, and his embraces, and the way he said "You and I". I walk to my left, hold my hand over the bowl, and watch my blood drip on the coals. There's a small sizzle, and the choice is done. I walk over to the Dauntless section, shivering.

A hand lands on my shoulder. Jake. He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek, a small smile on his face. I smile up at him, and he slips his fingers into my hair, sliding then through the slightly tangled strands. He pulls my mouth to his.

My world is in shambles, but I'll be alright.


End file.
